Help, I Married My Money Opposite!

We hear this all the time.  As we travel and speak around the country, this is a source of pain and panic for many couples.  We have found that 75% of all couples marry their opposite money personality!  No surprise that 70% of all divorces cite money as the reason for their split.  But being married to your money opposite does not have to ruin your relationship.  It can even make it stronger!  Here are four tips to surviving your money opposite:

  • Know and OWN your Money Personality – What is your Primary and Secondary Money Personality? Are you a: SpenderSaverRisk TakerSecurity Seeker, or a Flyer?  You have to know who you are first, then you can start to evaluate the relationship.
  • Understand your spouse’s Money Personality. – Once you understand how your spouse views and deals with money, your eyes will be opened in a way they never have before.
  • Understand the Opposite Dynamic. – On one side of the spectrum there are Savers and Security Seekers, on the other side we have Spenders, Risk Takers and Flyers.  If your Primary and Secondary money personality lie on the opposite side of the spectrum you have the Opposite Dynamic.  Understanding this will allow you to see how your opposite money personalities are affecting your overall relationship.  The mystery of why your spouse always spends money or why they have to use a coupon for everything will start to make perfect sense now that you understand their Money Personalities!
  • Have some fun! – Enjoy your new found knowledge about yourself and your spouse.  Take the next week and see what and how this Opposite Dynamic is affecting your relationship in every day money decisions.  Once you see how these decisions are affecting your money relationship, you can have a conversation that will build you both up and stop tearing each other down!

Make It Happen!

Scott and Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple

Money Huddle Tip:  Confirm if you have an Opposite Dynamic and confirm if your relationship has an Opposite Dynamic.  Talk about how these Money Personality conflicts appeared in your relationship over the past month.

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4 Tips To Get Your Money Huddle Started

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to money is to worry and obsess about it to the point where it becomes all-consuming. This could exhaust you since most every decision we make as a couple involves money. So let’s be intentional, talk about it, get it out in the open so we can stop the fights, ease the tension, and become closer as a couple.  We suggest you plan regular conversations about your money and your Money Relationship. We call them Money Huddles because they’re an opportunity to huddle up (and cuddle up) and talk through the emotional side of your Money Relationship – the “whys” not the “hows.”

Set aside some time each month to look over your budget, evaluate, discuss, and dream about the future – together. Regular Money Huddles give couples a place to talk through your money concerns and find ways to work through them together. And that means a lot less worry.

Couples often ask us how often should we have a “Money Huddle”? At least once a month.

Here are 4 steps to get you started on the perfect Money Huddle:

T = Time together – set a positive tone and get away from distractions

A = Assign duties – specific things you do for your Money Relationship

L = List of Goals – review your goals, remind yourselves what you are working for!

K = Keep it consistent –  a set, regular meeting time.

Enjoy an open, honest Money Relationship and the stress-relief that comes with it.

If you have any questions about your Money Relationship please feel free to email us at info@themoneycouple.com.

Make It Happen!

Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®

Money Huddle Tip:  If you don’t have a regular time, set aside, to talk about your money relationship be sure to schedule your next time today. Give each other a “high five” and congratulate each other for “Making it Happen”!!

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Money Woes Hurting Your Marriage? 2 Clever Ways To Talk About It

Smiling-happy-couple_1606253

Originally appeared in Your Tango

Your mother was right—you need to think before you speak.

So, why isn’t it that simple? Maybe mama didn’t know your spouse is so frustrating! Or, that money would be so tight in your marriage. Maybe mom didn’t know that you want what you want, when you want it. (Hmm … actually, we’re guessing she probably did on that last one).

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Satisfy Your Valentine In 3 Easy Steps

Couple Celebrating

Originally appeared in Your Tango

Like it or not – Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Some love it and some hate it.

When Scott and I were first married, I asked him to handle three holidays: my birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine’s Day. And do you know what? He has made plans for each one, every year, without fail.

This might not be a big deal for your spouse, but Scott isn’t a big holiday guy. I love them; especially the cards, the surprises, and the time carved out of busy schedules to celebrate and have fun. So, he makes them a big deal for me.

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Would Your Spouse Say You’re “Money Mean”?

(c) Can Stock Photof="http://www.canstockphoto.com">(c) Can Stock Photo

Use this checklist to see

He said. She said.
He’s wrong. I’m right.

Finger pointing can quickly turn into finger poking when money is involved.

Lots of spouses fight about money. In fact, divorced couples say “money” ruined their relationships more than any other factor.

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