People are tired of the pain and destruction caused by divorce. It hurts our children through the tension, fighting, and fear. It wounds each individual who married the love of his or her life and now can’t find enough harmony to remain together. It pains us all from one generation to the next.

We found most people feel powerless against this monster ravaging good marriages, right and left. But we believe we do have the power to save our marriages. In fact, we plan to realistically reverse the divorce trend, because we believe we have cracked the code.

Most people agree sex and money are the two biggest challenges of marriage. We personally believe money fights trump arguments about sex because money is daily and, well, sex isn’t. We all make decisions about spending or saving every single day. Most couples divorce because their fights, bickering, and whining about money differences escalate to the point of no return.

Over 70% of divorced couples in America cite “money” as the number one reason they threw in the towel. She wants to save, he wants to spend, she wants to take risks, he worries about the future, and in some cases he or she doesn’t even care.

Most newlyweds think their spouse thinks about money the way they do, but each individual has a unique perspective about money, called their Money Personality.

Those unique perspectives can cause friction, differences of opinion, and ultimately fights about money. It isn’t broken budgets, the drowning in debt, or even disarrayed financial plans that kill marriages. It’s the broken day-to-day communication about money, eroding our unions, one marriage at a time, and we’re sick of it too.

Our goal is to reduce the divorce rate by 10% and save marriages one Money Personality at a time, and you can help us with that goal. We’ve created a ton of resources to help couples understand and live happily together with differing Money Personalities.

Help us reduce the pain of divorce and fortify your marriage with the resources on our website, our free online Money Personality Quiz, through our faith-based couples study, and our new book The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

Tell us why you are sick of divorce at info@TheMoneyCouple.com or through Facebook or Twitter….and let’s help everyone crack the code and stop divorce!

Make it Happen!

The Money Couple®
Scott & Bethany Palmer
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

Scott & Bethany Palmer are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about The 5 Money Personalities™. To learn more about your Money Personalities, get FREE resources, and take the free, scientific quiz, visit TheMoneyCouple.com or pick up a copy of their book The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

The post We Can Stop Divorce appeared first on The Money Couple.

She told us, “You know what? I get it. I finally get my older sister, because I think I know her Money Personality now. She’s a hoarder, so I’m sure she’s a Spender.”

We didn’t skip a beat before we assured her, “Wait. That’s not the case.”

There are addictions that involve money. Gambling is first to mind, compulsive shopping and even addiction to savings goes on the list too, but just because someone’s “addiction of choice” involves money doesn’t mean that that their addiction is ANY indication as to what their Money Personalities are. People who are addicted to Savings aren’t necessarily Savers and people who are addicted to Shopping aren’t necessarily Spenders.

We could speculate all day long, but we would not be successful at determining anyone’s Money Personalities based on his or her addiction. Again, if a person has an addiction that involves money, that addiction has nothing to do with a persons Money Personalities.

Addictions are tough – usually they happen because of a deep rooted need, fear and unresolved inner turmoil – we just want to make sure that you know that money addictions will not give you any indications as to your loved ones Money Personalities. (Tweet this!)

It is great to see the excitement people feel when they finally begin to understand their Money Personalities, and we understand the temptation to try and assess the Money Personalities of the people around you. However, the only real, scientific way to determine both of your (and anyone else’s) Primary and Secondary Money Personalities is to take our online Money Personality Quiz and read our practical book The 5 Money Personalities™: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

What do you think about money and addictions? Please tell us your comments or stories at the end of this post…we want to hear them …. we appreciate you!!

Make it Happen!

The Money Couple®
Scott & Bethany Palmer
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

Scott & Bethany Palmer are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about The 5 Money Personalities™. To learn more about your Money Personalities, get FREE resources, and take the free, scientific quiz, visit TheMoneyCouple.com or pick up a copy of their book The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

The post Hoarding – A Spender Gone Wild? appeared first on The Money Couple.

We are ALL attracted to our opposite and then end up marrying them – they make us complete.  Money opposites attract and then once married, Money opposites ATTACK. (Tweet This)  We want this “attacking” to stop…really people, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s bring the LOVE back!!

We are strong supporters that you should never marry your money before you say, “I do”, but understanding each others Money Personalities is a “must do.”  Understand your differences and understand them quickly. Be sure to take our Free Money Personality Quiz and then pick up a copy of our new book, “The 5 Money Personalities”  to understand your differences.  We want every couple to have AMAZING relationships and we want to stop Money from getting in the way!!

We would love to hear from you! How does money get in the way of your GREAT relationship, and how have you worked to overcome this?

The Money Couple®
Scott & Bethany Palmer
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

Scott & Bethany Palmer are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about The 5 Money Personalities™. To learn more about your Money Personalities, get FREE resources, and take the free, scientific quiz, visit TheMoneyCouple.com or pick up a copy of their book The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

The post When Opposites Attract appeared first on The Money Couple.

We see example after example that verifies your two Money Personalities are part of your DNA in other words, God hardwired them in to you. Of course, there is no actual Money Personality gene currently identified, but the way you think about money seems to be programmed in right from the start. DNA or Deoxyribonucleic acid is, simply stated, a record of instructions found in our cells telling them what their job is going to be. Your Money Personality DNA tells you how to approach daily money decisions.

Our two sons are a great example. It is obvious to us that Cole is a Saver/Risk Taker and Cade is a Spender/Security Seeker.  Take Cade’s Primary Saver Money Personality.  He can’t keep a dollar in his pocket to save his life. If he finds money on the ground or in the couch cushions, you can smell the smoke from the hole burning in his pocket.  We are familiar with that smell – we’re both Spenders.

But Cole is our Primary Saver. He lives in a home with three people who get a gargantuan thrill out of spending money, while spending money essentially pains our Cole. He’d rather not have to watch.

When our Saver son was younger, he told us about his plan to buy a totally cool car some day.  Looking for a chance to encourage responsibility and planning ahead, I (Scott) told him when he started saving for his own car, I would match his savings effort dollar for dollar.

That was before I (Scott) realized what kind of a kid I was dealing with. We had no idea the laser-beam-focus of our little Saver. In just a few years, our eleven-year-old had socked away almost two thousand dollars in the local bank. At the rate he’s saving, we’re going to have to sell our cars, and maybe our house, to keep my promise.

Your family of origin can have a big influence on how you feel about money, but we find that most people can look back and see signs of their engrained Money Personalities from their childhood well before they would be intentionally responding to their parents’ influence.

My (Bethany’s) mom is a serious Saver, a Thrift Store Queen, yet I can see that I was always a Spender.  Even as a little girl completely unaware of my moms spending habits, I loved spending my allowance on whatever was right in front of me. I even recall not saving my Halloween candy beyond the final doorbell, while my mom had candy corns saved by her bedside until Christmas (she bought them for half price after November 1).

Your Money Personality is as much a part of you as your feelings about eating fish to increase your omega-3s, and is unlikely to change. So don’t fight it. Embrace your Money Personalities and watch out for Cole on the road!

The Money Couple®
Scott & Bethany Palmer
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

The post Nature vs. Nurture – Did I get my Money Personality From My Parents? appeared first on The Money Couple.

Josh’s return home was especially startling.

Home from Maui with his new bride, he went to their bulging mailbox to retrieve the mail. He wondered how two people could get this much mail in just one week?
At least the wedding and honeymoon bills hadn’t arrived yet. He hated to think of the bills they racked up in the last few weeks! But a wedding and once-in-lifetime-trip was worth it, and he knew he and Paige would remember this time forever.

Then a feeling he’d soon want to forget hit him. His heart sank, his stomach turned to knots, a $10,000 credit card bill? Whose was this? Did his neighbor’s mail get stuffed in their box? Was there some other Paige McCancy? There had to be some mistake!

Unfortunately, the mistake was a lack of full disclosure. Paige hid her debt from Josh while they were dating, because there never seemed to be a good time to bring it up. She thought Josh was so sweet, but he always worried about money. When they started planning the wedding and the honeymoon, she figured mentioning her debt would push him over the edge. So she told herself she’d tell him later.

Like the flash floods in Maui, this rush of information has the potential to damage everything. But it doesn’t have to. The damage is done. The debt is real. What can they do now?

COMMUNICATE – Get all the facts on the table. All of them! Was this debt for needs – schooling, car repairs, medical expenses, etc.? Or was it for shopping, lattes, and tanning beds? There’s a reason we vow to each other about money in our wedding vows. Her debt is now their debt.

GET HELP – Get some third party assistance. We wouldn’t try and tackle this on our own. Ask someone with more experience and a fresh perspective to help you understand how you got here and how to never return here.

IDENTIFY your Money Personalities – Understand each other’s view of money. Every person approaches money differently. If you understand your spouse’s Money Personality you can head off some of the problems before they arise and talk through your individual approach to money in an open, thoughtful manner.

It looks like Josh’s Primary Money Personality is a Saver. His Secondary may be a Security Seeker. Is Paige a Risk Taker? A Spender? A Flyer? Our quiz calculates both Primary and Secondary Money Personalities so Josh and Paige, and all of us, can deal openly with who we are and who we fell in love with.

There’s definitely some trouble in paradise, but they can take this opportunity to start fresh and learn some valuable insights about each other that will help their marriage far beyond the honeymoon.

Do you know of any newlywed Money Surprises? We would love to hear them – let us know and we will pass them on.

Make it Happen!

Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®
Creators of the 5 Money Personalities™

The post The $10,000 Newlywed Surprise appeared first on The Money Couple.

A successful, ambitious woman, Kelly was making herself nuts by shopping and buying what she wanted on the weekend, and then returning virtually everything she bought that next week.

Kelly confessed that she returns things so frequently she devised a confidential system for keeping the tags from every item. She keeps a secret box under her bed where all the tags are organized, alphabetically, by store. Costco, Kohl’s, Macy’s, Nordstrom, Target, Trader Joe’s and, of course, Zappos with “free shipping and free returns 365-days a year.” If a store doesn’t take returns without question, Kelly will not let herself shop there.

Kelly loves buying things. She gets a rush from making purchases. She loves shopping and picking things out for others. But after she buys things she feels guilty for spending the money.  So guilty that she almost always makes herself take everything back. This head-on collision in her head was driving her insane!

One weekend, she went shopping and found her husband a gift she knew he would absolutely love and use almost daily. She was tickled by her good fortune. She shared with us her thought process on the way home in the car.

“Wow, he is going to love this! It will be perfect for his office.”
“It is so totally HIM!”
“He’s been looking for one for years. I can’t wait to see his face!”

Three red lights later.

“I wonder if they ever put these on sale.”
“I’ll bet they do at certain times of the year. Ugh. I should have waited.”
“He mentioned not working from home as much. Maybe he won’t even use it.”
“People certainly have gotten along without them for years.”
“I never should have spent that much money. Ugh. I’ll just take it back.”

This kind of internal tug of war is common in someone who has the Opposite Dynamic – 2 Money Personalities colliding.

A friend told Kelly about our Money Personality Quiz  so she spent 15 minutes and found out she’s a Spender/Saver.  She said, “I took the quiz. The clouds parted! I wasn’t crazy! Just a little conflicted. Ha! But what I learned helped me understand my internal tension.”

Every person has a Primary and a Secondary Money Personality. Sometimes the two create an internal tension and lead someone to want to do two opposing things. This can create the collision Kelly was feeling – wanting to spend AND wanting to save. But, Opposite Dynamics don’t have to be a liability, cause migraines, or collisions. Opposite Money Personalities can create great balance and can be a healthy diagnostic check.

Can you relate to Kelly? Do your Money Personalities collide or support each other? We’d love to hear your stories below!

To learn more about The 5 Money Personalities™, check out our website at www.TheMoneyCouple.com or pick up our new book, The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®

The post Can You Be a Spender AND a Saver? appeared first on The Money Couple.

A recent CU grad and his girlfriend had been dating for almost three years and things were going very well.  You could say they were “serious.”  Neither one had ever dated anyone else for this long.

They enjoyed silly games, working out, and healthy debates about editorials in the paper. They knew a lot of the same people, and were committed to finding “the one” and starting a family. And then 5 roast beef sandwiches ruined everything.

The other night at an NHL Hockey game, Kim hit a wall. Although, hitting walls is standard for hockey players, Kim wasn’t playing. The night started out great, Dave had scored two great seats from a friend – not too close to the sweat and blood, but near enough to hear the slap of the sticks on the ice. They were enjoying the festive, party atmosphere – rowdy fans, thumping music, and frenzied anticipation of another win – and then it started, or should we say ended.

Kim was hungry.  She informed Dave she was going to get a sandwich.

“No, wait. If you hold off until after the second period, you can get 5 sandwiches for the price of one. Don’t get one now! Just wait.

“But I’m hungry now … and I don’t want 5 sandwiches!”

“But, you could save some for tomorrow!”

“I don’t want 4 sandwiches tomorrow.  I want one, … now!”

Cross-check!  Kim felt like she’d taken a hockey stick to the head. Were they really having this same discussion, again?  Dave was always trying to save money! Did he ever think of anything else? Little did she know, he thought he was thinking of her.

Dave is a Saver /Security Seeker.  Kim is a Flyer /Spender. Dave is proud of the many ways he figures out how to save money. In fact, they wouldn’t even be at the game on their current salaries if Dave didn’t take the time to trade favors with a friend for free seats. As a Flyer, Kim doesn’t give money much thought and her Secondary Spender  likes to use money to get what she needs, when she needs it. Like a sandwich when she’s hungry!

Opposite Money Personalities  can cause a lot of friction in a relationship, if couples don’t communicate and set some reasonable boundaries with each other. If you resist the urge to slam them up against the glass, your money opposite can provide good balance to your natural tendencies. What kills relationships is misunderstanding and miscommunication. When couples fight about money, those arguments are rarely
just about money. They are about deeper relationship issues like trust, respect and connection. So the sandwiches weren’t to blame after all.

Dave and Kim’s relationship may be “on ice” right now, but learning a new love and money language could heat things back up. Understanding how to see eye-to-eye on their day-to-day money issues could salvage their relationship so they can continue to enjoy the many other things they do have in common.

Avoid the pain and frustration of misunderstanding and take the next 15 minutes to identify you and your partner’s Money Personalities  with our free, scientific, Money Personality Quiz.  Browse through some of our website articles about the different Money Personalities, or pick up our new book of strategies for dealing with this very situation and many others, The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language.

Make it Happen!

Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

The post Game over! How 5 Roast Beef Sandwiches Destroyed a Relationship appeared first on The Money Couple.

This happened to a friend of ours recently. He’s a college professor and was asked to share his insight as a keynote speaker on a topic he loves. The university called him on his way home to tell him he’d been selected from a pool of candidates to speak at this well-attended, scholarly event. Cal was so thrilled he immediately started making plans in his head, and almost didn’t hear them add “and you’ll receive an honorarium of $2500.”  

Blocks from home, he couldn’t wait to tell his wife. Finally, all those years of tireless research were paying off! He tossed his keys on the table and hollered for his wife, “Honey, they’ve offered me $2500 to speak at that big event I was telling you about. $2500!! Let’s take a trip somewhere fun!”

Cal’s Money Personality is Flyer/Risk Taker. The nameplate on his office door at the university should read: Invest in relationships and keep it interesting!

Cal’s wife is a Saver/Security Seeker. She hollered down from their bedroom, “What?! I thought we agreed we weren’t going anywhere this year. What about all our debt? I thought we were paying that down, not going on trips!”

Cal told us how disrespected and unappreciated he felt. It seemed as if his wife had heard that giddy tone from him before, so she didn’t even really listen to what he said. She thought, “Here we go again” and impulsively responded with her fear about spending money.

People often marry their money opposite, but it’s not a terrible thing. In new relationships, we’re attracted to the way they shower us with gifts, or make the future seem so secure with their intentional savings. But truly, marrying our money opposite can be a HUGE asset, adding critical balance to each person’s spending habits. Cal’s wife did a fantastic job over the years, making a professor’s meager salary skillfully cover the entire family’s expenses, while Cal’s Money Personality urged them to create fabulous memories they both now treasure.

How could they have changed this new memory from trash to treasure?
Leave us your comments.

Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

The post This Is A Test appeared first on The Money Couple.

Natalie Tysdal and Chris Parente appear to know everything about everyone … every day! As Emmy winners and co-hosts of Denver’s FOX31 Everyday show, you would guess they have heard it all. But, we might have found the one exception.

Chris and Natalie did not know their Money Personalities™ … yet. So they went to our website and took the Money Personality Quiz™ and learned something new. They are Saver/Spenders—both of them! (Must be another reason why they get along so well!) This means their Primary Money Personality™ is Saver and their Secondary is Spender.

Neither Chris nor Natalie were overly surprised at their profile results. Natalie said, “The more I think about it, the more I can see it. I like to buy things, but I always have to get the best deal.”

People with conflicting Money Personalities are often relieved to learn they have a Money Personality Opposite Dynamic™. It explains the internal conflict they feel when they approach money decisions. A Saver/Spender is a great example of an Opposite Dynamic, and is a lot more common than you’d think. Their conflicting Primary and Secondary Money Personalities lead them to want two very different things—the desire to save their money, and the thrill of making a purchase.

As tricky as it sounds, an Opposite Dynamic isn’t a recipe for schizophrenia. An Opposite Dynamic™ can add great balance to your spending habits. (Tweet this!) If you pay attention to both, they help you balance out the weaknesses found in either Money Personality alone.

We love our time with Natalie and Chris. They are always so full of life and ready to learn something new. We’ll check back with them soon and see who’s buying lunch, and how this new understanding is helping their day-to-day money decisions.

Make it happen!

The Money Couple®

Scott & Bethany Palmer

Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™

The post Everyday Denver Hosts are Saver/Spenders appeared first on The Money Couple.

When we were at the FOX News studio, Gretchen Carlson and Steve Doocy both took the Money Personalities Profile and were intrigued by their findings. (They gave Brian grief for not taking the profile yet, which makes us wonder if he’s a Flyer and doesn’t really care about money one way or the other.) Gretchen was most surprised at her secondary personality of Spender. Not one to buy a lot for herself, she didn’t understand the Spender assessment until she began to share about her love of giving gifts. A person’s secondary money personality is so interesting and so important!

To see Steve Doocy’s Primary Money Personality all you need to do is watch the interview! (Tweet this!) His honest remark about Bethany and my Money Personalities is a classic! Classic Saver!

Our greatest joy as The Money Couple® is to help people understand how they view money and how their spouse does too, so they can build a Money Relationship they both love.

Make it happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®
www.TheMoneyCouple.com
@themoneycouple on Twitter

The post FOX & Friends January 2013 appeared first on The Money Couple.