Dating and money lies can be a tricky subject. Whether you’ve been married before, or are dating seriously, don’t give in to the temptation to avoid talking about money. Settling into a serious relationship without establishing common ground with money can lead to serious problems down the road.
Don’t Wait Until You’re Married
When dating, you aren’t married to your partner’s finances, so it is easy to overlook then those little red flags. Red flags like lying about or hiding money. A better approach is to lay the cards on the table and talk about money as a couple now. You reduce your chance of divorce if you are open now about money. Money is the #1 cause of divorce in America. There is little to no room in a relationship for dating and money lies.
3 Traits to Look for When Dating
Couples don’t have to be perfectly compatible with their spending habits to be successful. The success of a love and money relationship starts with good communication and it starts early. Be on the look out. These are the traits to look for in a partner for long-term success:
1. Honest about money
Honesty plays a huge role in a relationship, and money is no exception. Dishonesty is fairly black and white. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is not honest about spending on the little things, like tipping at the restaurant then they are not going to be honest about the big money decisions, like buying a house. This could lead to major issues that can ruin your financial future once you’re married.
2. Realistic about money, but not obsessed with it
There is a big difference between talking about a budget and obsessing over every penny. We define obsession over money as basing every little decision around money, and constantly nagging over spending. This obsession over money is closely linked to control over money. If your partner obsesses to the point of wanting total control over the budget, that’s a huge red flag. A trait to look for in a future team-mate-for-life is an honest and realistic approach to finances.
3. Compassion, understanding and respect
Compassion is so key in a relationship. That is no different when talking about money. Compassion and acceptance of your different points of view is very important. If you are discussing a savings plan, opening a joint bank account, or splitting rent, both opinions should be heard. Everyone has a primary and secondary Money Personality, and those Money Personalities can clash. This is not necessarily a bad thing – you can come to a healthy compromise over money, even if you don’t always see eye to eye – but you must have compassion and respect for one another.
Keep your eyes wide open and talk about money when dating. It may feel tough, but managing money as a couple is a part of everyday life. It will be far more “awkward” if you spend your marriage fighting or disagreeing on your financial future than it will be discussing it now with your date. Get on the same page now for a bright love and money future together.
To get started, discover your unique Money Personalities by taking our free, confidential 10-minute Money Personality Assessment.
Make it happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer