Relationships: 3 Ways to Be a Better Husband or Boyfriend
Very seldom do I just do a shout-out for men, but I decided this was the week! Man up!
Last week I heard about a guy who had himself kidnapped so he could go out with his buddies because he didn’t want to ask his wife and be told, “no.” I was then listening to a call-in-show where a guy was asking the host if he should get another job because he lost a contract and was scared to tell his wife that the family budget was going to have to be cut down. He was willing to take time away from her and his kids to make sure she didn’t get mad about the loss of income…?
When did we, as men, start to lose the ability to just MAN UP and have a real conversation with our partners in life?
Here are three tips to MAN UP when it comes to your money:
1. Forget your past mistakes
I have been with Megan for almost 20 years and I will tell you, I have made my fair share of mistakes. However, I apologize and move on. Meg knows I try my best. We apologize when we make mistakes and keep moving forward. There is a reason that the rearview mirror is smaller than your windshield – keep your eyes looking towards your bright future instead of focusing on your past mistakes. It is particularly important to not focus on past money, jobs, and personal finance mistakes. Yes, you will make mistakes but just because you do, it doesn’t mean you walk away like a whooped puppy. MAN UP – own them – admit them to your wife and move on!
2. Communicate clearly
Not usually any man’s strong suit, but get over it. Your partner in life just wants you to shoot straight. With these tough conversations (the ones that keep you up at night because you are convinced the issue is just going to blow up) instead of sticking your head in the sand, communicate clearly what is real about your situation and what needs to be done to fix it. If you lost your job, lost some money in an investment, or got demoted, be sure to shoot straight. There is a reason, in our vows, it says for “Richer or for Poorer.” You will have “rich” times and “poor” times. MAN UP and speak the truth. This is a journey where you both can come together and make your relationship better.
Side note – increasing your level of communication will almost always lead to the best (and most!) sex you have had in years!
3. State your needs
The reason we have a bunch of men running around scared is that you don’t know how to state your needs. It is imperative that you are open to what your partner’s needs are as well. All you have to do is ask! But you also need to be in a position where you can state what your needs are. If that dude I talked about above really knew what his wife needed, and had worked to make sure that they were met, he wouldn’t have needed to stage a kidnapping just to get out of the house to go be with his bro’s. The problem is he didn’t tell her what his needs were and he didn’t ask her what her needs were either. Both are just as important. MAN UP! State your needs and ask your wife what hers are too.
Hope this helped, from one guy to another.
One last thing. You want to “turn her on?” Be proactive, get The Love and Money Lifestyle toolkit, or any of our resources for that matter, and tell her, “Our relationship matters and I want to take the time to invest in our relationship and go through this program with you.” WOW! A guy just told me he did that and said, “I couldn’t believe how talking about money could be so cool.” I had a lot of say in this kit. Trust me, you will like it and your wife will too!
Pick up a copy of our new book, The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking The Same Love & Money Language on our website!