Valentine’s Day Ideas: Things to Do That Go the Extra Mile

Like it or not – Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. This can be a wonderful event, but let’s be real about one fact: some love this holiday and some totally hate it.

When Taylor and I were first married, I asked him to handle three holidays: my birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine’s Day. And do you know what? He has made plans for each one, every year, without fail.

This might not be a big deal for your spouse, but Taylor isn’t a big holiday guy. I, on the other hand, love them; especially the cards, the surprises, and the time carved out of busy schedules to celebrate and have fun. So, he makes them a big deal for me.

Valentine’s Day is usually a day that we take advantage of having some alone time, together, for just the two of us. My parents offer to watch the kids and we just enjoy a night in with some takeout food, a good movie, and spending time enjoying each other’s company. Every few years we’ll decide to “go big”. (My husband’s Spender/Risk-taker side has no problem planning these dates) with flowers, personalized Valentine’s gifts, a night out on the town, and a nice dinner.

What’s the point of this little story, and how does it relate to showing your partner you love them? The first issue you may want to think about is whether someone in your relationship is “hot” on holidays like February 14th. The second is that different people’s divergent outlooks on life, love, and finances – specifically, their Money Personalities – have a huge effect on what kinds of Valentine’s Day ideas will appeal to them.

Most importantly: make sure you consider your partner’s needs for the holiday to satisfy both your desires. However much you love each other, it’s totally possible that you have different thoughts on the meaning of Valentine’s Day. Once you recognize this fact, it’s easy to keep love in the air. So, whether you’re going out or staying home, keeping things low-key or going all-out, we have 5 tips to make your Valentine’s Day the absolute best ever!

 1.  Have the “Hot on Holiday” Talk

There’s a good chance that both of you aren’t equally excited about greeting-card holidays like V-day. If you both don’t care about V-Day, then don’t worry about it. Why spend the money if neither of you attach any special importance to the date? All the traditional Valentine’s Day things to do will still be available a week later, and probably for a lot less money – you can always use your anniversary or whatever day happens to be convenient to show your partner you love them.

What, however, if Valentine’s Day — the gifts, and the thought invested — is a symbol for your whole relationship (for one or both of you)? You better make sure you know where your significant other stands. If Valentine’s Day’s meaning is hugely important to your spouse, ignoring it means ignoring their desires, too.

You can start the “hot holiday talk” by saying, “Hey honey, I want to make sure that we honor our relationship and wanted to know what you truly think about Valentine’s Day? On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it to you? How much money is appropriate to spend? Tell me honestly what you think; no judgment from me.”
We don’t care if you are a man or a woman; who wouldn’t feel honored with questions like that?!

2.  Serve the “Hot” One

If one of you is “hot” on Valentine’s day and one of you is “cold”, make an effort to please the “hot” one. That’s right, there is usually one person in the relationship who thinks V-Day is important. If you aren’t that person, that’s actually a sign to make sure you make a big deal about Valentine’s Day instead of assuming that your partner is equally disinterested.

Think about their needs, their likes. Set your own opinions aside and honor your significant other. Browse Pinterest for some Valentine’s Day ideas or romantic recipes. Remember that this isn’t about the holiday as such, but about how to make Valentine’s Day special for someone you care about. They may not end up the only “hot” one if you play your cards right.

3.  Give Personalized Valentine’s Gifts Based on Your Partner’s Two Money Personalities

The Money Couple website was birthed with the generous help of a statistical scientist from Stanford. The three of us found that we all have a Primary and a Secondary Money Personality—ways we are hard-wired to think about and deal with money. (If you don’t know yours yet, click here to take our FREE, scientific, & confidential online assessment to find out both of yours TODAY.)

To see how this affects the meaning of Valentine’s Day for the two halves of a couple, let’s use a real-life example. We worked with one couple where she was the Saver and Security Seeker while he was a Risk Taker and Spender. (Notice no shared Money Personalities between them – almost the same situation as Taylor and I.)

So, Valentine’s Day rolls around and they had a very fancy dinner at his house. The bright red velvet gifts lay at his feet. He could hardly wait to spoil her. His Risk Taker and Spender Money Personalities were primed and ready to share these lavish gifts! She, acting in her two primary Money Personalities, presented him with a really small plate of cookies and was a bit embarrassed at all the fuss. Talk about awkward!

You see, we often give gifts according to our two Money Personalities without considering that of the recipient. This doesn’t mean you don’t care about one another, but you could probably spend a little more time on understanding what they need from their personalized Valentine’s gifts. This year, take a moment to think about our Valentine’s day tips and give according to their two Money Personalities.

Your Money Personalities have EVERYTHING to do with how you view Valentine’s Day. Want a good chuckle? Find your two Money Personalities in the list below and see if this is how you respond to Valentine’s Day.

• Saver: You can’t wait to show your love, but your gift won’t break the bank. This won’t be the first year you’ve given out “coupons for a back rub”.
• Spender: This person has no problem living it up to make a statement of their love! The biggest heart-shaped box of chocolates still isn’t big enough.
• Risk Taker: The wilder the better. It only comes once a year so you make it count.
• Security Seeker: No element of surprise with your gift. It’s thoughtful and practical.
• Flyer: Cozy up, Honey! You just want to spend time together.

Once you’ve done this little thought experiment, you may find that you’ve learned something about how you approach life, relationships, and finances. Now, think about what your spouse’s Money Personalities may be. Use that information as a starting point for how to show your partner you love them.

Your honey’s Money Personalities may make you laugh, they may make you want to cry. But your Valentine’s Day is guaranteed to be sweeter if you give your gifts that have their Money Personalities in mind. Here are some hints to do just that:

• Is a Saver really going to want a lavish gift? Nope. :-).
• Does a Spender want the lavish gift? Absolutely!
• How about a Risk Taker wanting something “different?” Oh, yes.
• Is the Security Seeker going to want a well-thought-out gift? Yes.
• Does the Flyer mainly focused on spending time with you? You got it.

Give the gift that keeps on giving by thinking about your spouse’s underlying desires and wrap your gift with their “Money Personalities bow”. If you want to learn more secrets to a great relationship or are really stuck with Valentine’s gift ideas, pick up a copy of our latest book, The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking The Same Love and Money Language.

4.  Many Small Gestures Are Better than One Big One

Oftentimes we think about giving gifts as selecting the one grand, special gift. Sometimes, that’s appropriate. But, this year, consider taking an entire day and showering the person with lots and lots of small gestures to make their day super special. For example, you could leave a voicemail in the morning, a text every hour with a special memory that you have had, a love note on the mirror, a piece of candy in their shoe, a note on the steering wheel, and maybe top it off with a nice balloon bouquet at the end of the day! Often times many small gestures can be more significant than just one, however spectacular.

5.  Avoid a Money Fight on Valentine’s Day

Prior to Valentine’s Day, agree upon the amount of money you are going to spend. Make sure you agree upon a figure that is not going to break the bank, not going to make your partner mad at you, or leave anyone feeling like they can’t be true to who they are – their Money Personalities, in other words – on that special day. There is nothing worse than a nasty money surprise, especially on Valentine’s Day.

Agree on the amount and then stick to it so you don’t have hurt feelings. In fact, though avoiding conflict on such a special day is obviously a good idea, using this as a trial run for open, respectful communication about financial issues (what we sometimes call the “Money Huddle“) can make your relationship run much more smoothly the other 364 days of the year. Make sure the fireworks between you are for a good reason and not because you’re exploding into a fight.

Show love. Share love. Enjoy your day together.

As always,

Taylor & Megan