Integrity = Honesty + Courage

Integrity = Honesty + Courage

We were at a conference last week and we heard a quote that really impacted both of us.  That quote was “Integrity = Honesty + Courage.” For example, I am an honest employee but I see my coworker stealing supplies and I don’t speak up … I lack integrity. In other words, if you are an honest person but don’t take the courage to speak up when you see someone else being dishonest … you don’t have integrity. It takes courage to speak up.

My (Scott) Money Personalities are Spender/Security Seeker and Bethany’s are Spender/Risk Taker. Because I have the more “conservative” Money Personality—Security Seeker—I tend to keep my mouth shut. When Bethany comes up with an idea (like opening a donut shop in Estonia—yes, that really happened) I often encourage it, but inside I am dying … just dying. I would argue that when I don’t say anything—I just keep the horror I’m feeling bottled up inside and I lack the courage to speak up—I don’t have integrity.

Integrity in your Money Habits

We believe we all want a life of integrity. We all want our relationships to reflect integrity, especially with our spouse. Having a great relationship—when it comes to your money—takes both honesty and courage … a lot of it!! Do you have integrity if you let things bug you and don’t say anything? Do you have integrity if you tell your spouse you won’t spend, then you spend anyway and don’t say anything? Do you have integrity if you just get mad and don’t tell them your concerns about your future? You need to be open and tell each other how you feel about your money habits.

This is why the Money Huddle is so important for couples. When you evaluate, make your needs clear and dream together … you just fulfilled our  definition of Integrity.

Make it Happen,
Scott and Bethany Palmer

5 thoughts to “Integrity = Honesty + Courage

  • QSpike

    What a great message! I often ask my kids “what is your integrity worth?” Whether is is downloading that song without paying for it or pocketing that “little” item at the store … it all comes down to that question.

    I’ve not thought about it in my relationship with my wife and finances … You’ve given me something to think about.

    Reply
  • David McHenry

    Integrity = Honesty & Courage. It’s a great concept. As I’ve thought about this same comment over the course of the past couple of weeks, I’ve come to think about honesty as being the “inward facing” (internal) piece of integrity and courage as being the “outward facing” (external) piece. We need to be honest not only with ourselves but with those around us as well. Even if that honesty means communicating to others in a more direct fashion than we might otherwise be inclined to do. Saying that final 10% of our thinking that we sometimes left unsaid.

    Reply
  • Kirsten Samuel

    Integrity between my husband and me – so critical to a healthy marriage! As the “spender” in our relationship, I’ve had to deal honestly with myself and then courageously with my husband who is not a “spender”. Often that has meant fessing up to my overspending…with full knowledge that the money wasn’t in our budget. Sometimes it’s meant having the tough conversations when we’ve disagreed about a financial issue. When the two, who are supposed to be one, can function with integrity there is great freedom and joy. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Oscarcat6

      I agree with you 100%. To have intregity with others you hve to intrety with yourself.

      Reply
  • Oscarcat6

    I really enjoy your site. I was listening to marriage toady and found out about your site. I have taken the quiz and found out that I am a Splender and a Flyer. I sent my husband yur site also. I hope he takes the quiz like I did. I now know what I need to work with God’ help. Susan Taylor

    Reply

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