We were at a conference last week and we heard a quote that really impacted both of us. That quote was “Integrity = Honesty + Courage.” For example, I am an honest employee but I see my coworker stealing supplies and I don’t speak up … I lack integrity. In other words, if you are an honest person but don’t take the courage to speak up when you see someone else being dishonest … you don’t have integrity. It takes courage to speak up.
My (Scott) Money Personalities are Spender/Security Seeker and Bethany’s are Spender/Risk Taker. Because I have the more “conservative” Money Personality—Security Seeker—I tend to keep my mouth shut. When Bethany comes up with an idea (like opening a donut shop in Estonia—yes, that really happened) I often encourage it, but inside I am dying … just dying. I would argue that when I don’t say anything—I just keep the horror I’m feeling bottled up inside and I lack the courage to speak up—I don’t have integrity.
We believe we all want a life of integrity. We all want our relationships to reflect integrity, especially with our spouse. Having a great relationship—when it comes to your money—takes both honesty and courage … a lot of it!! Do you have integrity if you let things bug you and don’t say anything? Do you have integrity if you tell your spouse you won’t spend, then you spend anyway and don’t say anything? Do you have integrity if you just get mad and don’t tell them your concerns about your future? You need to be open and tell each other how you feel about your money habits.
This is why the Money Huddle is so important for couples. When you evaluate, make your needs clear and dream together … you just fulfilled our definition of Integrity.
Make it Happen,
The Money Couple
Scott and Bethany Palmer