Financial Infidelity as defined by The Money Couple:
Financial Infidelity (fi-nan-shuhl in-fi-del-i-tee) noun
The act of lying about, hiding, or secretly hoarding money in a relationship.
Every money relationship harbors some level of Financial Infidelity. It might be as minor as not telling your spouse what you really spent on her birthday gift or as major as keeping a secret bank account or credit card. The bottom line: no matter how big or how small the Financial Infidelity is, it is a relationship KILLER! With 70% of all divorces in America citing money as one of the major causes leading to the split, Financial Infidelity is the unspoken and undefined reason marriages fail and families split. With all of our exposure to it through the couples we counsel, or even our own Financial Infidelity (yes we have committed it), we have identified 5 triggers to help you work through your own:
- Financial separation – Many couples think if they just keep their money separate that it will not cause friction in the relationship. What we see is that this is almost an impossible scenario. How do you live under one roof with no overlap in finances? Resentment and mistrust set in as bills are split up and both people in the relationship are hoping for the best.
- Overspending and Debt – Many couples struggle with overspending and debt. What we often see is that one or both people in the relationship will hide credit cards and/or purchases. This is most often done to avoid a fight.
- Lack of planning – Often couples will do no planning because they are relying on the other to do the current and future planning. Usually they will wait too long until they even address the issue. When the problem is finally discovered the blame game begins.
- Control – If one person controls the money, there is often a backlash from the other. We see this as one of the major causes for secret accounts and credit cards. The person in the relationship that is hiding the money is usually doing so because of the lack of flexibility by the other.
- Money Secrets – Money secrets can be in many forms. It can range from separate checking accounts, secret credit cards, secret investments holdings, and secret stashes of cash.
Which triggers ring true for you? Make a conscious effort to confess and stop your Financial Infidelity and stop this relationship killer today!
Make It Happen!
Scott and Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple
Money Huddle Tip: Tell each other which of the 5 triggers you are most susceptible to, then tell each other why.
To figure out how financial infidelity is affecting your Money Relationship, click here to take our free quiz.