Do we need to add “I will be honest” to our wedding vows or is it implied in our promise to cherish our spouse? To cherish means to protect and care for someone lovingly. But I don’t think it’s the definitions we are unclear on here. Maybe some individuals just don’t think the definitions apply to them?
We aren’t talking about little white lies. It is the huge lies – the big whoppers – we keep hearing about like affairs and lying about money; spouses turning a blind eye on their commitment, to being honest with their spouse.
Here are some sobering statistics:
• 33% of marriages, one or both partners admit to cheating
• 22% of men say that they’ve cheated on their significant other
• 14% of women admit to cheating on their significant other
• 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a coworker
• 40% of the time online affairs turn into real-life affairs
• 17% of men and women admit to having an affair with a sister-in-law or brother-in-law
Why? Why do spouses feel like they can’t be honest with their spouse? The research boils it down to two main reasons.
So what are the two main reasons why spouses cheat?
1. They feel distant from their spouse
2. They are looking for comfort
So why are we bringing this up?
It is not to judge others. We know marriage is challenging.
It’s to get ahead of the problem and find a solution before your marriage becomes one that adds to the statistics.
Research shows the number one cause of divorce is money conflict. Money fights are so personal. You feel like someone is attacking the core of who you are because you are hardwired from birth to approach money in one of five ways (take our scientific & confidential online assessment to find your top 2).
So when you look at those reasons: feeling distant and wanting comfort. You see the needs that aren’t being met in marriages. And we think honoring your spouse’s money makeup is a big part of that. There is a practical way you can be the spouse that offers closeness and comfort inside of your marriage.
The key? STOP putting down your spouse’s perspective on money.
That’s right – stop. Make a decision today and stop. They think of money differently than you – but that doesn’t make it wrong. We know it drives you nuts, but it doesn’t need to drive you away. Over 70% of couples that have taken the Money Personality Assessment are married to their money opposite. But don’t despair. The Golden Gate Bridge is supported by tension–opposing viewpoints CAN work together.
Do you know yours and your spouse’s 2 Money Personalities? Get those dialed in and then learn how to appreciate them. Every single one has strengths!
Love your spouse for who they are instead of putting your spouse down for what they aren’t. And you WON’T be one of those statistics mentioned above.
TODAY – go to your spouse, put your arm around them and tell them how much you appreciate their God-given Money Personalities and give a few examples of WHY you appreciate them!
We would love to hear from you in the comments below. How did the hug go? What do you appreciate about your spouse’s 2 Money Personalities?
Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple