Balancing Marriage and Money: 3 T’s to Help You Out

We have all heard the standard answers to discuss family finances without fighting: get a budget, talk about it, stop spending! If these were working, we would see couples with blissful day-to-day money talk. Those ideas aren’t bad, they just don’t work. We are done, we mean done, with money fights hurting our relationships, marriages, and kids. Come on, everyone, let’s stop the money fights this year! (tweet this)

Here’s how:

Transparency

Honesty is easy… right up until you have to tell the truth about a mistake you made. Many times we aren’t transparent because we don’t want to be told “NO” by our spouse or significant other. We would rather endure the fight, instead of being transparent and sharing what we spent or how we broke a money promise because we think of our spouse as our “mother” or “father.” Let’s not view our spouses as our parents; let’s think of them as our partners and friends! Here is a way to start the conversation: “I blew it. I said I wasn’t going to spend any money on ‘X’ but I did. I want you to know that I care about you and our relationship and I broke a promise and I am sorry.” Being transparent will help the money fights go away because you are cutting off the fight at the pass. Everyone hates money surprises and appreciates a sincere apology!

Timing

Timing is everything! This is really true when it comes to money. I think back on a time in our lives when Megan and I had a minor bump in the road with our finances. Our car broke down and the cost to get it fixed was more than the car itself was worth. It was no one’s fault; it was just one of those things that happened. I misunderstood what it was going to cost and there was no money in the budget for what Megan spent. When I got home and saw the bill, I went off and that sent us into a tailspin. All sorts of stuff came up in that argument. Bottom line—my timing could not have been worse. I should have waited until we were both ready for the conversation and the kids were down. My bad. The conversation needed to happen but my timing was terrible. Should have taken our own advice on that one! Oops.

Think

We have all heard the phrase “think before you speak.” The reality is, we hardly ever do it. When you feel your blood boiling and you are about to lose it, just walk away or take a break. Think about your Money Personality, the other person’s financial personality, and how this situation is actually going to affect your money. Think about how you are going to propose your concern to your significant other.  Just think it through and save yourself from a major fight! Learn more about how to fight fair in our book Cents & Sensibility, COMING SOON!

With these three “T’s” you can have the best year ever and be the happy couple you have always dreamed of being. If you haven’t already, be sure to take our FREE scientific & confidential Money Personality Assessment, an online couples quiz, to learn both of your Money Personalities before you read our book. Here’s to a great, fight-free year.

Taylor & Megan Kovar

The Money Couple