There is no debating that things have been tough for kids graduating from college the past 8 years. Here is a statistic we recently stumbled across:
“One in five people in their 20s and early 30s is currently living with his or her parents. And 60 percent of all young adults receive financial support from them.” NY Times
You can make this moving home trend the best years of your relationship. Assuming it will probably happen to all of us, here are 3 survival tips:
1. Make sure you can afford it.
You have to agree on whether this is even a feasible idea for YOU. If you can’t afford to feed and house another adult, then it is important to be open and honest with them. Don’t say, “Oh, no problem” if it really is a burden.
2. Draw up a Letter of Understanding.
Will your child pay rent? If so, how much? Consider the average rent in your area and adjust it as you see fit. What happens if she doesn’t pay? Will she pay her share of utilities? If your child is moving in with children of his own, what kind of childcare is he expecting from you? Get these issues ironed out and written down before your child moves in so everyone knows how this will work. People often say to us, “this seems so legalistic.” Our response? If you saw how many relationships have been hurt by unspoken expectations then you wouldn’t even consider NOT having one.
3. Focus on developing your child’s financial maturity.
Adult children, especially recent college grads, need you to prepare them for the financial realities of adulthood. Giving her a free place to live might not be the best way to help your child. She might need you to give her a push toward financial maturity. Helping her understand her Money Personalities, (be sure to get 5 free Kid Money Personality Assessments in our latest book) how she looks and deals with money, is a great first step. If she doesn’t have any money saved up, help her make a plan for putting some money away. Also help her find a focus for a job that will give her stability and passion.
As parents we all want what is best for our children. The one thing to keep in mind is we want to equip them to be productive on their own and we don’t want them still trying to find themselves four years later like Annie in the NY Times article above.
If you understand yourself better, you will be able to help your child more. Be sure to pick up a copy of The 5 Money Conversations To Have With Your Kids At Every Age and Stage today!
What are you doing to encourage your adult children during these tough times? Are you an adult child who’s moved back home after college? How are you becoming financially stable? Be sure to comment below with any other suggestions you have for your returning home child!