you spent how much

You Spent How Much?!?!

“Wait, you spent how much?!?!” How to avoid Money Personality dumping.

A husband calls his wife the “Money Nazi.” He walks through the door and their conversation goes like this:

Wife: “Where did you go out to lunch?”
Husband: “We went Italian today.”
Wife: “What did you have?”
Husband” “A Chicken Caesar Salad.”
Wife: “How much did it cost?”
Husband: “I don’t know … about $13 dollars.”
Wife: “THIRTEEN DOLLARS FOR A CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD?????”

No Name-Calling

Instead of calling her a “Money Nazi,” we would describe her Money Personality as a hyper “Saver.” It is so easy to take your Money Personality and DUMP it on the person you love the most. When her husband walked through the door—after a long day at work—is that what he wanted, needed or deserved? If we aren’t intentional with our talk, we can so easily start a fight … and not even know why!

We argue that many fights over money start because our Money Personality is “threatened.” She is a Saver and he is a Flyer. To attack him like that will erode their relationship … one nag at a time.

Be very conscious of your—and your spouses—Money Personality! Also, be aware of the DUMPING you may be doing, and the damage it will cause.

Have you done any “dumping” lately?

Make it Happen,

The Money Couple

Scott and Bethany Palmer

5 thoughts to “You Spent How Much?!?!

  • Tom L

    I think coming together and making a budget you both can agree to helps avoid dumping as long as both people stick to it.

    Reply
  • Kirsten S

    Dumping on the person you love…so easy to do but it causes so much damage to the relationship! Thanks for the gentle reminder to talk it through – a much better solution than dumping!

    Reply
  • Alan M

    great advice — I wish I had it 33 years ago when I got married, but it’s never too late to learn how to improve your relationship

    Reply
  • Dale

    As a Saver/Flyer married to a Spender/Security-Seeker, we’ve had some fun with our money personalities interacting! One solution we’ve come up with is to have an allotment of money each month that we can spend on whatever we want. This has solved the problem of me thinking that my wife spent too much on something or her feeling restricted from spending money on a special lunch if she wanted to. We stay within the allotted amount. The funds are allocated and now there’s no arguing or judging. Much more peaceful! Much happier marriage!!

    Reply
  • Paula P

    Thank you for the wonderful reminder of how important it is to find the “middle-ground” instead of the “battle-ground” of respect for one another when it involves spending money.
    Life is such a wonderful gift and having someone to share it with, can be as well. However, trying to balance the good, bad and ugly when it comes to the budget is difficult if there isn’t open communication daily, weekly or monthly!

    Reply

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