Years before we were The Money Couple. We were just a couple. And then NOT a couple. Then a couple. And then not. THEN a couple and then not. And then a permanent couple. So we recommend to not get serious until you watch them do a few things first.
Yep, we broke up 3 times during our dating relationship.
We argued way more when we were dating than we ever do now. Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time while we were dating, but we were really serious about hammering some big things out … and that ended well sometimes and others, not as much.
We are both so glad we had those arguments when we were dating because we really got to know each other on a deep level.
And when I (Scott) quit messing things up and Bethany finally figured out I was the most amazing man on the planet, we got engaged and married. That was twenty years ago.
It’s a good thing we paid attention to some habits and how we each lived our daily lives to see if we were a great fit. Dating is a chance to be serious about observing them as a potential life partner and how they handle money is part of that. Money decisions impact every single day. And no one wants to spend every day disagreeing with their spouse about something like that. So don’t get serious until you watch them do a few things first.
We’ve determined that while you’re dating, watching your potential mate make decisions in the following 3 areas tells you a lot:
1. Dining Out
a) No Dice
If your date doesn’t see the value in dining out now, that’s not likely to change after you marry. Are they saying they think it costs too much?
b) Coupon Captain
Do they always have to pick the place based on cost? Is it almost always necessary to have a coupon to be able to eat somewhere?
Take note if they always want to eat out. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner gets pretty pricey for a family budget.
d) Same Ole Same Ole
Notice if they always want to return to the same places. I (Scott) have five restaurants I like and I know exactly what I want at each. Bethany likes to try new places and try new foods. So she knew she needed to aware of my loyalty once we were married.
e) Group Grub
If your date likes to go out to eat in large groups that’s not likely to change after you get married.
2. At the pump
This may sound silly, but we know couples that are constantly frustrated by how their spouse chooses the fuel for their automobiles. Take note now and talk to them about their choice.
a) Comparison Shopper
Ever have a friend (or date) who enjoys a “good” conversation about gas prices? Oh, they’re out there. If they love to comparison shop for gas and discuss where the best price is and check their app, this will never change. Not during your daily life and not even on vacation.
b) Snack-y Shopper
Do they have to go inside and buy something every time they fill with gas? This is Bethany. She loves to do this. I don’t get it at all, but I think at this point in our relationship I’d almost be disappointed if she didn’t go in. (And shocked.)
c) Type of Grab
What do they grab when they go inside for a purchase? Is it something to enjoy in the car now or something practical for later? Bethany always grabs a Diet Coke.
d) Brand Loyal
Does your date always fill at the same gas station? Will they drive past multiple stations that look perfectly fine to you to find their brand? This is me (Scott). I love Kum & Go and the fuel points reward program. It adds up so I can get the family treats so I don’t care about Bethany’s Diet Cokes anymore.
e) Never Alone
Take note if you date wants you to come along when they “go to fill”. They see it as an outing. A time to be together which may thrill or confuse you.
3. Type of Dates
Where they like to take you or go on dates tells you so much. And don’t fool yourself, they won’t change what type they like once you’re married. So take note is this the kind of life and spending habits do you want? Hopefully it is and that’s why you enjoy each other so much.
When you go out what is going through their mind?
- Can I use a coupon?
- This date needs to be even better than the last.
- Where have we never been before?
- I love the memories and traditions of going to our same place each week.
- How many people can we get to meet us there?
We know it is difficult to talk about money on a date. And we not suggesting you compare bank accounts or credit statements on Date #3, but it would super smart for you to take note of their money management now to see how comfortable you are with a few surface items like eating out, fueling up, and date night.
If you like what you see on those three points, consider taking your relationship to next level, by both of you taking our free Money Personality Assessment. It’s 8 minutes of their life to show you who they are about money.
Get Ready to Run
If your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t discuss money openly, we recommend you reconsider how serious your relationship should be. Maybe they have something to hide or maybe it’s not the right timing for them. We’d recommend you let them know that fighting about money every day of your marriage is not part of your master plan so when they are ready to get serious and discuss money I may be here or may not. I like to say, “Cut them loose and keep fishing.”
You deserve to know how they will approach money every day for the rest of your life. It will eliminate tension, friction, frustration, and future fights.
Marriage is awesome but it’s hard to have it feel awesome if you’re fighting about money daily.
It’s fascinating to watch couples do a side-by-side comparison of their Money Personality Blueprints. They can dig it and craft a healthier, wealthier plan for their future together.
There is no right or wrong way to approach money. But you will know a good fit when you dig into it. Life’s too short to not enjoy each other.
Do you have any concerns about your current boyfriend or girlfriend? We’d love to help. Our mission is to save marriages so if we can help you now, we’d be happy to.
Want to watch Scott admit he was the one that caused our third breakup? Enjoy. Ha!
Make it happen.
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple
Creators of the 5 Money Personalities