YOU’RE A WILTING PLANT
You’ve probably heard of the saying, “It’s not over till it’s over.” Well, lucky for you, this is one of those cases: You have the power to assess yourself, pull out all of the weeds, dig deep, and turn this relationship around!
There’s no sugar-coating this: it will take some serious work from both of you, and you’ll need to start thinking about why you might be sinking into the grips of financial infidelity.
Whether it’s hiding your spending/savings or setting up secret accounts, to heal your relationship in even the smallest way you’ll need to prepare yourself for the difficult conversations.
A great place to start is to identify and discuss the differences in your individual Money Personalities.
IN SHORT, HERE ARE YOUR GROWTH STEPS:
SELECT A NEW POT
LAY FRESH SOIL
OPEN PHONES, ACCOUNTS, &
REPLANT YOUR LOVE
CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET
LET’S DIG DEEPER AND ESTABLISH NEW GROWTH!
SELECT A NEW POT: START WITH COUPLES THERAPY
Careful—your financial relationship is getting a little close to the edge!
While you can’t change the weather, you can change your environment to help repair your relationship. Infidelity of any kind can cause severe strain, and financial infidelity is no exception. Communication is key, but it can be hard to clearly portray exactly how you feel. That’s where a licensed therapist can help!
A good therapist will get to the root of the matter, offering corrective, healthy steps to solve and disarm conflict before it has a chance to start.
Studies indicate that couples who complete a full therapy journey benefit in more ways than one and show significant improvement in their relationship. Don’t let weird therapy myths stop you from recovering your marriage!
LAY FRESH SOIL: OPEN PHONES, ACCOUNTS, & HEARTS
At the heart of most relationship issues lie a troublesome, nasty thing: secrets. Believe it or not, they actually do promote trust—but not in the way you’d think.
When your relationship has become plagued by secrets, you’re more likely to trust that your spouse is ALWAYS lying, rather than trusting that they’ll tell the truth at all!
If you find yourself in this position, it’s time to dig deep, expose the wounds, and lay a new foundation. Start fresh and raw from the very bottom to promote a healthy root system for your relationship.
When we say “dig deep,” do so by opening everything: accounts, phones, hearts, and minds. By no means will this be an easy process, but it will be worth it in the end to have a trust so pure, you won’t have to second guess anything.
(Remember: it’s important to have your heart open to both positive and negative conversation. They should both be for the benefit of your relationship.)
REPLANT YOUR LOVE: CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET, TOGETHER
Repotting a plant and abandoning it defeats the purpose of replanting. Once your relationship is in a better place, you’re responsible for taking care of it better than you did before!
Take some time to sit down, gather all of your finances, and work together to regain control by implementing budgets and boundaries. You can either learn to control your money, or it’ll control you.
The glue that keeps this all together is accountability and open, honest communication. The more money conversations you have, the more transparent your relationship will be.
This isn’t a “one and done,” “end all cure all” anecdote, either; this is just the starting place for your marriage growth!