How People Make Financial Decisions: Primary vs Secondary Money Personalities

We’ve worked with so many wonderful couples over the years.

One of the most rewarding parts of what we do is hearing excitement about peoples’ Money Personality. It’s a joy to hear how knowing and embracing them is helping resolve issues and struggles in their marriages. Get a load of this…We were out to eat with our kids one night. 3 different couples who attended our Magnificent Marriage conference came up to our table (we never mind these kinds of dinner interruptions). We learned some fascinating things as we chatted with them.

The first gentleman told us that he was a Flyer and his wife was a Saver. The second woman excitedly shared her Primary Money Personality. The third couple was thrilled to tell us that learning about their Money Personalities had helped them fix some longstanding money fights. It was so much fun to talk to everyone.  To see how excited they were about knowing their Money Personalities and understanding how they impact their lives and relationships.

But there was one thing that stood out during all those conversations – nobody could remember their Secondary Money Personality! That’s not good!

Why is that? You see, your Secondary Money Personality is every bit as important as your Primary Money Personality. It can have just as much impact on your behavior and your relationships.

I’m a primary example of a condition we call the Opposite Dynamic. If you are dealing with the Opposite Dynamic, it means that you have conflict within yourself because you have Primary and Secondary Money Personalities that are at odds with each other.

Contradictory Primary and Secondary Money Personalities Cause All this Internal Conflict.

It’s such an ah, ha moment when your two personalities combine! Once your Opposite Dynamic inner conflict makes sense, it allows you to break out of that cycle and relax a little bit. We know what both of our Money Personalities need, so we’re able to honor and respect those needs and avoid that inner turmoil.

Knowing and understanding both your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities isn’t just good for you personally, it’s great for your relationships!

If you and your spouse have the same Primary Money Personality, that means you won’t have any conflict, right? Haha!! That is definitely not the case! You might share that Primary trait of loving to spend money and buy gifts, but your Secondary Money Personalities couldn’t be more different. Your Secondary Security Seeker could be terrified by your spouse’s Secondary Risk Taker. No plan? Trying something totally new and untested?? Yikes!

Your money fights can also stem from conflict between your Secondary Money Personalities, but if you didn’t know what our Secondary Money Personalities are, you’d never be able to pinpoint why exactly you are fighting! That’s true for so many couples. Even if you share the same Primary Money Personality, if you’ve got a volatile combination of Secondary Money Personalities, you’re not going to see money eye-to-eye, so you are going to have money disagreements. If you pair a Spender with a Saver, a Saver with a Risk Taker, or a Risk Taker with a Security Seeker, it’s going to be impossible to avoid the occasional conflict. And if you’ve got 4 completely different Money Personalities at play, you’re going to face PLENTY of conflicts!

The key to managing those money fights is knowing, understanding, and respecting all 4 of your Money Personalities.

Megan uses a term that I love. She talks about “compromise with a purpose”, and I think that’s fantastic. She means that knowing who you both are and understanding those Money Personalities that you were born with helps you reach compromises that are truly satisfying to both of you.

Understanding both your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities is so important and a relationship changer. And knowing the dynamics of all 4 Money Personalities at play in your relationship can help to eliminate so much stress. If you haven’t already taken our FREE online scientific & confidential 5 Money Personalities Assessment it’s a must.

As Always,

Taylor and Megan Kovar

The Money Couple