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HELP! My Spouse Won’t Stop Lying About Money!
Updated: January 01, 2021 |
Taylor Kovar, CFP

How to Stop Financial Dishonesty in Your Marriage

Stop lying about money. Statistics show that hiding, cheating, and hoarding money from your spouse is on the rise.  It is called financial infidelity.  And it is so easy to do it these days with online banks, shopping, etc.  Here is the financial infidelity “Smell Test”.  Take this test today and see if there is financial infidelity in your relationship.  Ready go!

#1 Take action to stop financial infidelity in your marriage

What is financial infidelity?  Look at these three areas to see if your marriage is suffering from it.  

C – Cash

Ask yourself, are there secret stashes of cash hidden in your relationship?  Many people think financial infidelity is just hiding spending but it can also be hiding savings.  Are either of you hiding any cash in your marriage?  

C – Credit

Financial infidelity can be more than just hiding cash in a cookie jar or spending cash when your spouse is not aware.  Secret credit can also be financial infidelity: secret bank accounts, secret credit cards, secret loans, etc.  Some are more obviously crossing the line more than others but they are all breaking trust within a relationship.

C – Control

And finally, financial infidelity can also be about control.  Is there one person who is controlling all the money, all the accounts, all the passwords?  Control can be a huge form of financial infidelity.

#2  If you are the person committing it – ask yourself why, confess, and stop

If you do this “Sniff Test” and find that there is financial infidelity in your relationship, the second thing you must know is… it IS going to hurt or ruin your relationship.  There is NO WAY to get around it.  

Financial infidelity refers to cheating with money and thereby betraying your partner's trust.

Financial infidelity is like sexual infidelity, it can start with flirting, and then you are in a full-blown affair in six months.  A lot of times it starts with “I promise you I will only hit Starbucks twice a week!”  And then, it goes to seven.  It starts with, “I just have this $500 credit card that is for my personal emergencies” and in a few years it goes to $15,000.  You are going to get found out!

The problem is both that you are creating financial instability but also that you are lying to your spouse.

If you are committing financial infidelity the first thing is to decide to stop and just go tell your spouse because they will find out anyway.  Financial infidelity is the thing that is happening but the bottom line is the trust is broken and relationships are built on trust.

#3  If you are on the recipient side then what are you doing that is driving your spouse to commit financial infidelity?

Oftentimes we think it is solely the fault of the person committing financial infidelity and mostly, it is.  But, there is always something that drives them to it.  Are you a Saver and holding too tightly to the money?  Maybe your spouse is a Risk Taker and you have not created a plan to fulfill help support and encourage both your Money Personalities and their opposites.  Remember, it is compromised.  Not one of you is completely correct and the other completely wrong.  Both of your Money Personalities are important, otherwise, only one of you is needed, and that is not a relationship at all.  If you don’t know what your 2 Money Personalities are (that’s okay) click HERE to find out for FREE NOW!

Take these three points and make sure to rid your marriage of financial infidelity today!

Taylor & Megan Kovar

The Money Couple

Taylor & Megan Kovar posing at the Fredonia Hotel in Nacogdoches Texas

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